Monday, 4 April 2011

Steps to Win Your Ex Back

Knowing how to go about getting your ex back can be a complicated thing. The steps required to win your ex back are not taught in any course, and there are few people that can give you quality advice. Most of the time we will get our ideas on ow to win that ex back from friends, who really have no idea on how to go about it. We get ideas from what we think would work on us, and we get ideas from movies where a lost love has been won back.


In reality getting an ex back is a very complicated thing and you should not attempt to win them back without first following a few common sense steps as outlined below.


First, you need to distance yourself from you ex. This can be difficult, especially if your ex wants to stay in contact with you. But, you must be strong and create that distance so you can start getting beyond the emotion and start thinking clearly. This will also be a sign to your ex that you are strong enough to stand on your own, and bring them to the realization that you don’t “need” them to survive.


Second, do not isolate yourself. Spend some time with your family and friends, for support. Isolating yourself, allows you too much time to stew, dwell in your circumstances and depress you. Spending time with those that care about you, and will lift you up and encourage you.


While spending time with family and friends, ask them what they think went wrong with the downfall of the relationship. You may already think you know what went wrong, but it’s good to get an outside perspective. Be warned, your family and friends will probably tend to blame your ex to help you feel better. You need to let them know that they need to be brutally honest and help you see want went wrong, even if you are at fault. If you really want to know what went wrong, you need to be strong enough to hear the truth.


Your next move is to take what you heard from family and friends, about what caused the breakup, and what you think was behind the breakup. It’s up to you to really understand what went wrong, even if it hurts because you may have been responsible.


Then you need to decide where you want to go from here. Do you still want your ex back? Do you think you and your ex are really compatible? Are you curious about other possible relationships? If you contributed to the breakup, do you need to change some things? Are you willing to work on changing yourself if necessary?


If you are still interested in trying to get your ex back, then your next move is to initiate contact with your ex. You need to be strong, mature and be able to communicate without a lot of emotion. Ask your ex how they are doing, and see where the conversation goes from there. Don’t expect, or even try, to get back together on that call. Stay in touch and suggest doing some things together, and see if the relationship can be built again over time.

Saving Your Marriage

It’s tough going through that horrible time when you feel like your marriage is coming to an end.  I know it may seem hopeless but don’t give up on saving your marriage.


There are thousands who have gone through what you’re going through right now and have succeeded in saving their marriage.  There is help to stop a divorce, or to help correct problems before you get to that point.


You do need to realize that as much as you may want to save your relationship, you may not be able to. Make sure that you prepare yourself mentally for any possible outcome. This isn’t thinking pessimistically, it is being realistic which is what you need to be.


If you want success in saving your marriage, it’s important to get marriage counseling.   Hopefully your spouse will be willing to do the counseling with you, to get the most out of it.  If your spouse will not attend counseling with you, you can still get counseling and work on the things that you can control to try to save your marriage.


Several marriages have been brought back from the edge of divorce, because of counseling and therapy. Marriage counselors are able to deal with all marriage issues, from infidelity between spouses, to depression, or anything else that can stress a relationship to the point of divorce.


Marriage counseling doesn’t have to be expensive, there are plenty of good choices for you to use to get good relationship advice before you see a divorce lawyer.


One thing you can control while trying to save your marriage, is to avoid arguments.  This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t discuss important subjects with your spouse, but getting drawn into an argument will help no one.


When you feel your frustration level rising, and sense your spouse is trying to raw you into an argument, take a deep breath and inform your spouse that you are not going to argue about it.  Let them know that when you both cool down, you would like to talk calmly about the subject.


When you do sit down to talk, make sure you listen to your spouses point of view.  Their point of view may be different than yours, but it could be a valid point of view, and they could be right.


If you can both calmly express where you are both coming from, you should be able to find some common ground where you can both agree and move on.


If you are really interested in saving your marriage, it could take a lot of work and patience, depending on how damaged your marriage is.  But, the work and patience could pay big dividends in the future.

How to Win Back Your Ex With Common Sense

So, you’re boyfriend, or girlfriend has ended the relationship and moved on. You’re trying to move on too, but you just can’t seem to give up on the relationship. Perhaps you have a sense that your ex still loves you, perhaps you just believe you two belong together. You feel their is still hope for the relationship and want to try one more time to win back your ex.


How to you go about doing that? Where do you start? you probably have some ideas on things that you can do, like sending them love notes, or a love letter, or buy them gifts.


The first thing you need to do is STOP. Take a step back and follow the tips below before you go any further.


First, you need to look at what went wrong, and in particular, what part did you play in the relationship ending. It takes two to make a relationship work, and like it or not, you probably contributed to the breakup.


If after evaluating your contribution to the relationship ending, ask yourself if you are willing to address those issues, or if you even can address those issues..


If you really think you can change, and are committed to doing so, you may have a chance to win back your ex. It’s not a bad idea to talk to your ex and apologize for the things that you had done that caused strain in the relationship. This shows your ex that you cared enough to reflect on what you did wring in the relationship. It also shows a sign of maturity that you were able to face fault and apologize.


During that conversation, do not suggest that they take you back since you have learned your lesson and are promising to change. It’s too early to press them to get back together. Plus, when you don’t go asking to get back together, they will see that you appear to be able to move on.


Stay in touch with your ex, perhaps weekly, for a while. Just give them a quick call to see how they’re doing. Keep the conversation light. Subtly remind them of some of the good times you had together, but don’t go overboard. You just want to create a small spark in their mind and heart related to some special time you had together.


These weekly, and casual, conversations will either lead to a friendship, or you will come to the conclusion that they are not interested in even being friends.


Friendships often lead to more serious relationships. For many relationships, the “love” relationship developed to quickly and the friendship stage was never really developed. Having a strong friendship may be something that your relationship needed and could lead to a stronger love relationship.

Wednesday, 30 March 2011

Is Your Relationship Collapsing Right In Front of You?

Again you are overwhelmed with how little he respects you. Why can't he be like the person he was when we first met? Are you finding yourself asking this question over and over again? Why did he have to change?

The harsh reality

He really hasn't changed at all. Yikes, I know you didn't want to hear that. What has really happened is he has you and no longer has to impress you. Sad but true. He no longer has to woo you and with all the trappings that guys perform to get a maiden to look their way.

Many guys are not very good at the game of attraction, it is a performance and if it works correctly they have a lady. So when they have performed well enough to be successful, they think that is all they need to do.

Nudge a little

So what can you do to make him more the way he was when he swept you of your feet? How can you make him more caring and romantic? Well there are a lot of things you can do but be aware of the fact that this guy lacks imagination and spontaneity. They just need some extra guidance and it can take away from the fun of them just being brilliant enough to get it on their own.

The plan

First you have got to be patient as you are trying to lay the ground work for the outcome you want. If you are dealing with him being disrespectful to you in front of others, you have to confront him about it. You have to tell him that is not the way you wanted to be treated and how it makes you feel. Try to pick a time when things are calm and you are not angry. You must have respect for yourself before you can expect others to treat you with respect.

Tell him how he impressed you when you first met and how you loved the way he treated you. In order for someone to change they need to be reminded how special they are and valued. Not being critical of him will help in getting your point across.

You cannot tell him he needs to be more like this person or that person that will only anger him. It is under the same principle why parents should never ever compare one child to another. It is unfair and he may feel like you would rather be with whom he is being compared to and that will probably cause him to resent you. There really is hope, most relationships can be repaired.

How to Get Over Your First Love - 3 Tips for Getting Over Your First Love

Getting over a break up is hard; however, getting over the first break up is definitely the hardest. The reason it's so much harder than all the rest is because it's our first love. So it's not just a regular break up for us, wit's a break up with the person who first taught us what it means to love.

You guys probably spent most of your time together and now you have a difficult time picturing what your life's going to be like without them. In fact, just the thought of losing them is terrifying. You might have a hard time believing that you'll ever be happy again. But if you follow the 3 tips below, I guarantee that you'll be able to get over your first love and move on with your life.

1. Do not talk to your ex for the next month

You can't truly get over them if you guys are still friends. You have to cut all contact with each other while you attempt to get over it and move on. I know that it's hard, it feels you're suddenly losing your best friend. However, this is the first step that you absolutely MUST take if you want to get over your ex.

2. Make an effort to grow and become a better person.

A relationship is not a mistake if you're able to learn something from the experience. Think about what happened and see what you can learn from it. This is an opportunity for you to see things from a new perspective and change for the better. Remember that the more you learn and grow, the more satisfying your future relationships will be.

3. Don't be scared of opening yourself up to love

Just because your first relationship didn't work doesn't mean that all your future relationships are going to fail too. Keep in mind that every person you're going to meet is going to be different. Therefore, every relationship will play out differently too. Don't project your past into the future and assume that things are going to go bad. I know it may feel like you're doing it to protect yourself from getting hurt; but in reality, you're only hurting yourself. Let go of any negative reactions you had from your relationship and put them in the past. Make a choice to be optimistic about the future. Open yourself up to love.

Learning to Deal With Problems in a Relationship

You are a wise person, an honor student and an efficient worker. You may have a brilliant mind, but you are a fool when it comes to love. When you are in a relationship, you simply cannot control being possessive. You want to know everything about your partner and you would always check on his whereabouts. Most men, no matter how they love you, will eventually get tired of having to explain all their actions to their girlfriends.

You have to admit that most of the problems in relationship that you have faced with your ex in the past were due to your lack of trust with the guy. He had tried to explain this to you many times before, but you were too busy listening to your own emotions that you did not pay any attention to his thoughts and feelings.

Now that you want him back, you must first make sure that you are really intent in doing everything to make the relationship work if he will agree to give it another try. You know you still want him back. Swallow your pride and know that you can still work things out. Sometimes, love is not enough. Learn to trust and learn to compromise too.

You have to open your eyes to the usual problems in relationship that have been experienced by many couples. You should also focus on the problems that you've had before with your guy and think hard about what led to these and why.

Before you do steps in order to reconcile with your ex flame, you need to be very certain that you are serious about making the relationship work this time. To get this done, you both need to lay everything out and speak about the emotional baggage that you have dealt with in the past.

Consider this as a fresh start that both of you need to work harder on to make sure that it is going to be smooth sailing this time. If you still love each other, it will be easy to get back, but aside from love, you both need to promise that you will change for the best.

Together, you have to analyze the problems in relationship that you have dealt with before. Through this, you can make up your mind on what to do if ever you will be in the same situation in the future.

The Best Saving Relationship Techniques

There are no miracle wands or spells to repair a declining relationship. You will find useful methods to help you to get back again on track. Love, trust, as well as respect would be the stuff that could make or break the relationship. Remove one of this essentials and the relationship will be impaired and maybe even destined to fail. If the relationship is rugged at this time, one of these 'save relationship' methods could be used to take your relationship back to the old flame.

Be realistic- After the initial period of enthusiasm and exhilaration, a relationship settles right into a calmer and normal period of consistency. During this time, everyday routines can feel boring, especially when compared with how thrilling everything felt when you two first met and began dating. The thing you should know is that this preliminary rush as well as passion is not true love and is not sustainable.

Exemplify the best characteristics which make the relationship work. Be truthful, faithful, understanding, taking, flexible and having faith in. Remember that you are both humans that are capable of committing mistakes.

Talk- Be open as well as honest with one another in a nurturing and positive manner. Address grievances or even issues before they get out of hands. The unsolved issue stored within is being revealed in different ways, and it is likely to result in much more issues like resentment, frustration as well as hurt. If one is hesitant about something, then you need to talk it over.

Admit imperfections- always remember that nobody is perfect. The imperfections of the couple relationship don't mean that relationship is fated to fall apart. Actually, it is an opportunity to find out the week points of one another, accept them and grow. By doing so, will assist you to build trust and faith upon each other, plus shows your own compassion as well as understanding.

An additional best practice is the save relationship counselors. They will suggest that the happy couple take a break from everything. If the conversation doesn't work, maybe keeping silent about the issue could be the best answer in the end. Walking back from the heated conversation does not mean getting out from something. That action will show your partner your respect and love. Through this, your mind will be cleared so you can think about rational things and showing your partner your compassion.